Alright, fellow parents, gather ‘round. Tonight, we’re diving into the magical, slightly terrifying world of bedtime audiobooks. Specifically, the Stephen Fry narration of Harry Potter—a masterpiece of storytelling that somehow manages to be both enchanting and, for my kids, absolutely terrifying.

Here’s the scene: it’s nighttime. The lights are dim. The boys are tucked in, and I’ve hit play on Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (or whichever one we’re on—let’s be honest, I lose track). Stephen Fry’s voice fills the room, smooth as butter and twice as comforting. But then, it happens. The tension builds. The music swells. And suddenly, we’re face-to-face with a word like “K-I-L-L.”

Cue the wide-eyed looks from Max, my youngest, and the nervous side-eye from Hari, my eldest.

Now, let’s pause for a moment. First of all, I get it. Stephen Fry’s narration is so good, it’s basically a rollercoaster for your ears. But for a kid, that rollercoaster can feel like it’s going off the rails. So, I came up with a solution: the Thumb Pause.

Here’s how it works: before we start listening, I give each boy one of my thumbs to hold onto. If they get scared or have questions, they squeeze my thumb, and I hit pause. It’s like a safety net, but instead of a net, it’s my thumb, and instead of safety, it’s me trying not to drop my phone while fumbling for the pause button.

The beauty of the Thumb Pause is that it gives them control. Scary word? Squeeze. Creepy sound effect? Squeeze. Stephen Fry’s voice getting a little too intense? Squeeze. And just like that, they’re in charge of the story, not the other way around.

But here’s where it gets fun. When we pause, we don’t just sit there in silence, staring at each other like we’re in a horror movie. No, we turn the scary into silly. We take those big, intimidating words and break them down into something that makes us laugh.

For example, take the word “K-I-L-L.” Scary, right? Not anymore. In our house, it stands for Kangaroo, Ice-cream, Love, Love. Suddenly, we’re not talking about something dark and ominous. We’re talking about a kangaroo eating ice cream and giving out hugs. And just like that, the tension is gone, replaced by giggles and the occasional request for actual ice cream.

It’s not just about making the story less scary, though. It’s about teaching the boys that they have the power to change how they feel about something. Fear doesn’t have to be the boss of them. They can take a scary moment, hit pause, and turn it into something fun.

Of course, there are times when the Thumb Pause doesn’t quite go as planned. Like the time Max squeezed my thumb so hard I thought he was trying to disconnect it from my hand. Or the time Hari asked, mid-pause, “Dad, why does Stephen Fry sound like he’s savoring every word like it’s a tasty meal?” (I still don’t have an answer for that one, but now I’m hungry.)

But those moments are part of the magic. They’re the memories we’ll look back on and laugh about. Like the time we turned “D-E-A-T-H” into Dinosaur, Elephant, Apple, Tiger, Hat. Or the time we decided that “V-O-L-D-E-M-O-R-T” was actually just a really bad set of Scrabble tiles.

So, to all the parents out there navigating the wild world of bedtime stories: don’t be afraid to hit pause. Don’t be afraid to get creative. And definitely don’t be afraid to let your kids squeeze your thumb until it goes numb. Because at the end of the day, it’s not about the scary words. It’s about the laughter, the bonding, and the knowledge that no matter how dark the story gets, you’re there to shine a little light.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go recharge my phone (and my thumb).

Stay strong, parents. And remember: when in doubt, just add kangaroos and ice cream.

Love from Dad (and part-time thumb therapist).