We all have people in our lives that we care deeply about, whether it's a parent, partner, friend, or child. We love them unconditionally, and yet, at times, our love may not translate into a feeling of closeness. As a parent, we can love our children with all our might, but when we are working extra hours, unwell, less present, or experiencing times of growth and development, our love can feel different. These are the times when a "check-in" can be useful. In this blog post, we will discuss the importance of checking-in to build and strengthen relationships with loved ones.

The Importance of a Check-In
A check-in is a way of taking a snapshot of what is working well in your relationship and what could be different to make it better. You can do this with anyone you love and care about in your life. Partners and friends benefit greatly from these conversations, particularly at times of change or transition. With little ones under the age of eight, it helps to make the idea of "love" and connection concrete by using drawing or a visual such as your hands.

Scaling Questions and Open Conversation
Scaling questions can be a useful tool when checking in with children and young people. With adults, you can have an open conversation, such as "How well do you think things are between us right now? What could I do to help you know you are on my mind/you are loved/I miss you?" These questions can lead to productive conversations about what is working in the relationship and what could be improved.

Building Trust and Openness
Checking in with loved ones helps to cultivate a culture of trust and openness in your relationship. When you take the time to listen and understand the other person's perspective, you show that you care about the relationship and are willing to work to make it better. By focusing on the impact of your behaviour rather than just your intentions, you show that you are committed to building a strong, healthy relationship that can last a lifetime.

Conclusion
In conclusion, checking-in with loved ones is an important way to build and strengthen relationships. It allows us to take stock of what is working well and what could be improved. Whether we are checking in with our children, partners, friends, or anyone else in our lives, it is an opportunity to show that we care and are committed to building a strong, healthy relationship. By using scaling questions or open conversation, we can have productive conversations about what is working and what needs to be improved. So, give it a try and see what you learn about your relationship with your loved ones. Remember to check in a few times a year at critical points, and choose times when things are going well. When you know what works, you can do more of it.